Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Katrina Who? Part the Second

Our story continues. In my search for Katrina-related stuff in the Reader I flipped over to “Scoops” Miner’s column. Surely he’d have something to say. Something stupid and impenetrable, probably, but SOMETHING. I mean, a month ago, he devoted a column to the question of whether or not we’re safer now than were were before 9/11. And then back in July, he offered up this little gem:

If and when terror strikes Chicago, the corpses – yours and mine perhaps – will be carted away. But as the BBC will undoubtedly assure its audiences, Chicago – the city that burned to the ground in 1871 and sprang back up more pugnacious than ever – will go on.

So this time? Apparently Miner likes his disasters man-made and hypothetical, because he’s got nothing on Katrina. Heck, given what’s in his column this week it’s possible he’s not actually aware that New Orleans is even a little bit soggier than usual. He starts his column off with a not-very-interesting-or-relevant story about a crusty news veteran taking over the Tribs’s web site.

And then, well, he just seems to veer off into another dimension altogether, offering up a transcript of a surreal discussion he had with a supporter of Intelligent Design -- who’s actually, as far as I can tell, just a voice in Miner’s head.

Here’s a snippet of their “humorous” “conversation,” offered without further comment because, well, what the hell can you say about something like this?

What about disease? I said.

“Poor Elvira Johnson!” Eyre said. “She was two years older than the rest of the class and she left her boogers everywhere. Whenever I read about an epidemic I can’t help but remember Elvira Johnson.”

KEYWORDS: Michael Miner, Crusty, Surreal, Auditory Hallucinations, Boogers, Liz Armstrong, Man Boobs, Penis, Katrina?


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